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When will the tears dry up?

A reader wonders how many counselling sessions are required to resolve an specific issue.


How do you know when you’ve had enough counselling? I had half a dozen sessions with a psychologist several years ago. We resolved the issue of concern and agreed it was a job well done. But I find if I am pressed to talk about the subject, I cry. What does this mean? If you are truly “over” something or someone, do the tears dry up?


Grief is probably the most difficult emotion to fully resolve, because it consists of many others including anger, resentment, guilt, disappointment, blame and deep sorrow. If these were not adequately addressed, there may be residual

depression and low self-esteem. Six sessions may have been insufficient. If the past trauma occurred when you were a child you may always feel sadness for that child, and this is normal. Memories cannot be erased especially those

associated with abuse or neglect. Whether a person cries over these memories can relate to personality. Some cry readily, when happy or sad, or if someone else is, even on the TV. Most people recognise the bittersweet feelings of

nostalgia about the past. If this is more than a bit tearful, it is happening often or has become worse, it would be wise to return to counselling. You may only need reminding of guidance and techniques you were previously taught.

There may be a present situation triggering your sadness, which can be addressed and resolved.

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